14 Comments
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Et Al System's avatar

This is a brilliant piece! It was a breathtaking read. Thank you!

Victor D. Sandiego's avatar

Thank you, Nicole. I'm glad you enjoyed it. And welcome!!

Mike Leavy's avatar

A great treatise on the subtle betrayals that come (or may come) for us all. Imaginative, yet grounded in the human condition. Another wonderful story, Victor!

Victor D. Sandiego's avatar

Yes, I tried to keep in grounded somewhat. Many thanks for checking it out and for your encouraging comment, Mike. Glad you liked it!

Sharron Bassano's avatar

"... you saw some regimented part of yourself in those regimented rows that marched with dreams of subjugation. You didn’t even whisper a protest..." and "That’s when you called me naïve and crippled for the first time..." Such a powerful, tragic story.

Victor D. Sandiego's avatar

Thank you, Sharron. I guess this one started off as pure fiction and veered into my reality. How about that....I appreciate you reading and leaving a comment.

Sharron Bassano's avatar

Then you can write a second story on the same theme, yet true, undisguised autobiography. I would welcome it.

Victor D. Sandiego's avatar

Then it would veer completely into memoir, I suppose.. an idea....

Jim Cummings's avatar

"And in the trees, the black robed crows stayed impassive in judgment as they slow measured the inexplicable depth of their verdict." This is a powerful metaphor, Victor.

A beautiful and sad piece of prose.

Victor D. Sandiego's avatar

Thank you, Jim. I really appreciate you taking the time to check it out and leave a comment. This one's personally sad....

K.C. Knouse's avatar

Your unique prose style makes this a beautiful, though tragic, tale of betrayal. After years of giving to his younger brother and those around him, the older brother felt entitled to gratify his ego at the expense of those who loved and depended on him.

Victor D. Sandiego's avatar

Yes, indeed. He felt the entitlement, somehow. I wish I knew how, but...

Thanks much K.C., for checking it out and your insightful comment. Much appreciated!

James Ron's avatar

Loved it, Victor! Another fine piece, as always.

Victor D. Sandiego's avatar

Thank you, James. Glad you liked it, and I appreciate your comments, as always!