"...yellow streetlight burlap sky." ... "...ambulances come and go. And they’re not talking of Michelangelo" ... "paper bag wine" ... "my empty bottle anger " ... "Those last blood red drops drip from sad shards of myself. They slow crawl to the water like a stunted storm squall" Christ! Stunning!
I didn't realize until I was posting this last night that this is the 2nd piece I've published here that takes place in the L.A. / Long Beach / San Pedro zone of industrial wonder. I grew up in L.A, but I suppose it's all very different these days. Been years, no, decades for me....
Thanks much for reading and commenting Sharron. Really appreciate it, and glad you enjoyed this short piece.
I'm actually a pretty upbeat guy in person :) Maybe it helps to get some of this out in the open. Not sure, I get in my moods.... Thanks for reading Trilety, and for your very nice comment. I appreciate it.
Hi David and thanks for connecting. I remember your work from Subprimal Poetry Art, the freshness and spontaneity. Good to see you here and thanks for reading and commenting. Always happy to get in touch and hope all is well at your end.
I remember your experiment. I've built a tool that can help your current efforts as a form of repayment. Will be interesting to hear more about what you've done and your motivations.
Gracias Mónica. Las partes vívidas de la vida, ya sea como rey o vagabundo, son las más importantes para mí. Me alegra que hayas disfrutado este cuento.
I agree with Mike, palpable anger and resentment. You relate a powerful story in a free-form style that never seems like storytelling. Great writing, Victor.
Yeah, I get in these moods sometimes where I think about friends lost and lives wasted. I used to be a bum, too. Not like this exactly, but a vagabond. Well, long time ago, been a model citizen for a while now :)
Thanks for reading Jim and for your comment. Really appreciate it!
This one feels so real; palpable anger and resentment. You pack a lot of feeling and character into this short piece. Great writing, inspiring. Thank you for the Tuesday morning jolt. Caffeine is now an afterthought ;-)
I guess it's something that hits me hard Mike, the senseless deaths of promising young people. I know this keeps cropping up, part of my obsession maybe. I've got a few of them.
Thanks for reading, but do not place coffee jolts as an afterthought. Me, I love my Cubano and my French Roast. Yum. All the best.
In lieu of words, I left sincere hearts down below (or is it right above?) as I read your readers' responses. Most, if not all, echo my sentiments. I am simply needing to be protective of me. I have been carrying my share of grief. Thanks for inviting us in to your hearth.
As in real life, hearts move around. They may be up; they may be down. Wherever they land, I say thanks much for reading, Elva. And I understand about being protective. We must take care of ourselves in order to help others. That's my take, anyway. All the best!!
![Dynamic Creed [Oddified Fiction]](https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/w_36,h_36,c_fill,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep,g_auto/https%3A%2F%2Fbucketeer-e05bbc84-baa3-437e-9518-adb32be77984.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F0e1033d7-484e-4f07-8ca4-9f5e73fde2ba_500x500.png)
"...yellow streetlight burlap sky." ... "...ambulances come and go. And they’re not talking of Michelangelo" ... "paper bag wine" ... "my empty bottle anger " ... "Those last blood red drops drip from sad shards of myself. They slow crawl to the water like a stunted storm squall" Christ! Stunning!
I didn't realize until I was posting this last night that this is the 2nd piece I've published here that takes place in the L.A. / Long Beach / San Pedro zone of industrial wonder. I grew up in L.A, but I suppose it's all very different these days. Been years, no, decades for me....
Thanks much for reading and commenting Sharron. Really appreciate it, and glad you enjoyed this short piece.
lovely lyricism as always, how fresh and open you can make me feel even about such a distressing traumatic topic
I'm actually a pretty upbeat guy in person :) Maybe it helps to get some of this out in the open. Not sure, I get in my moods.... Thanks for reading Trilety, and for your very nice comment. I appreciate it.
Evocative, intense, challenging. I wish to support this. I would share it with others and raise money. Please get in touch.
Hi David and thanks for connecting. I remember your work from Subprimal Poetry Art, the freshness and spontaneity. Good to see you here and thanks for reading and commenting. Always happy to get in touch and hope all is well at your end.
I remember your experiment. I've built a tool that can help your current efforts as a form of repayment. Will be interesting to hear more about what you've done and your motivations.
Love the verse-prose hybrid, the broken lines followed by flowing thoughts. You do so much with plain words.
Hi Zoe and welcome! Glad you enjoyed the piece. Many thanks for reading and commenting. It means a lot to me. All the best.
Victor, con esta historia me hiciste palpar una representación de la impotencia emocional. Una historia muy vívida.
Gracias Mónica. Las partes vívidas de la vida, ya sea como rey o vagabundo, son las más importantes para mí. Me alegra que hayas disfrutado este cuento.
I agree with Mike, palpable anger and resentment. You relate a powerful story in a free-form style that never seems like storytelling. Great writing, Victor.
Yeah, I get in these moods sometimes where I think about friends lost and lives wasted. I used to be a bum, too. Not like this exactly, but a vagabond. Well, long time ago, been a model citizen for a while now :)
Thanks for reading Jim and for your comment. Really appreciate it!
All who wander are not lost.
So good! You delivered, yet again, Victor. By the way, I've really enjoyed "39 Boys on Ground".
Thanks James, really appreciate it. 39 Boys is like another era of my life that sometimes seems distant, but still...
Glad you enjoyed Rudy. That's two of them. I've probably tapped out that name, better come up with something else. Thanks again!
This one feels so real; palpable anger and resentment. You pack a lot of feeling and character into this short piece. Great writing, inspiring. Thank you for the Tuesday morning jolt. Caffeine is now an afterthought ;-)
I guess it's something that hits me hard Mike, the senseless deaths of promising young people. I know this keeps cropping up, part of my obsession maybe. I've got a few of them.
Thanks for reading, but do not place coffee jolts as an afterthought. Me, I love my Cubano and my French Roast. Yum. All the best.
Thanks for the T.S. Eliot nod. So good: "gulls crapsquawk"
Yeah, that's what happens when I start riffing. Bits and pieces from here and there bubble up. Thanks for reading and the comment, Russell!
In lieu of words, I left sincere hearts down below (or is it right above?) as I read your readers' responses. Most, if not all, echo my sentiments. I am simply needing to be protective of me. I have been carrying my share of grief. Thanks for inviting us in to your hearth.
As in real life, hearts move around. They may be up; they may be down. Wherever they land, I say thanks much for reading, Elva. And I understand about being protective. We must take care of ourselves in order to help others. That's my take, anyway. All the best!!