Wow. Damn. So many times in such a short story that i found myself agape or going "whoa," "Oh," or just gasping. Well done, god how i love reading you.
I love this - the uncertainty, and the potency of the history and the relationship, plus the refrain of the river that keeps on going. Beautiful writing!
“The afternoon lowers its arms “ This is when we know that the world will be different for these two men when the sun next rises. I love it that the grandfather is there to help Kyle see it through--whatever it is. Brilliant Victor!
I echo Sharron's observation: we find all the meaning we need in the unarticulated spaces of this piece. A wonderful story, haunting and elegiac. Good to have you back, Victor.
"Tries to steer a ship he lost in a storm of years." "I can’t go back to that place, says Kyle. A breeze ruffles the water, a cormorant splashes." "They'll be here soon. The old man touches his grandson’s shoulder. The afternoon lowers its arms." Wow!
You had the choice to tell this story in ten pages or in one short moving conversation. You made the right choice, in my opinion. You gave us only what we needed to understand absolutely everything. Brilliant, Victor! I admire your work so much. ( Finding the essence and being brief: I have worked on that solidly for two years. Some day I hope to rise to your level. Here is one attempt with a similar theme. Maybe you will like it? https://sharronbassano.substack.com/p/not-today )
Wow. Damn. So many times in such a short story that i found myself agape or going "whoa," "Oh," or just gasping. Well done, god how i love reading you.
I love this - the uncertainty, and the potency of the history and the relationship, plus the refrain of the river that keeps on going. Beautiful writing!
“The afternoon lowers its arms “ This is when we know that the world will be different for these two men when the sun next rises. I love it that the grandfather is there to help Kyle see it through--whatever it is. Brilliant Victor!
I echo Sharron's observation: we find all the meaning we need in the unarticulated spaces of this piece. A wonderful story, haunting and elegiac. Good to have you back, Victor.
"Tries to steer a ship he lost in a storm of years." "I can’t go back to that place, says Kyle. A breeze ruffles the water, a cormorant splashes." "They'll be here soon. The old man touches his grandson’s shoulder. The afternoon lowers its arms." Wow!
You had the choice to tell this story in ten pages or in one short moving conversation. You made the right choice, in my opinion. You gave us only what we needed to understand absolutely everything. Brilliant, Victor! I admire your work so much. ( Finding the essence and being brief: I have worked on that solidly for two years. Some day I hope to rise to your level. Here is one attempt with a similar theme. Maybe you will like it? https://sharronbassano.substack.com/p/not-today )
wonderfully meditative piece