Wow. Damn. So many times in such a short story that i found myself agape or going "whoa," "Oh," or just gasping. Well done, god how i love reading you.
Thank you Trilety. It has quite a few of your "cracks in the floorboards" (I can't forget that phrase of yours), but sometimes that seems right. I'm glad you enjoyed it.
I love this - the uncertainty, and the potency of the history and the relationship, plus the refrain of the river that keeps on going. Beautiful writing!
Thank you Sarah for your kind words. This theme seems to be something I come back to from time to time, although I don't always hit the publish button. I'm glad you enjoyed it.
“The afternoon lowers its arms “ This is when we know that the world will be different for these two men when the sun next rises. I love it that the grandfather is there to help Kyle see it through--whatever it is. Brilliant Victor!
I echo Sharron's observation: we find all the meaning we need in the unarticulated spaces of this piece. A wonderful story, haunting and elegiac. Good to have you back, Victor.
I'm glad you're okay with filling in the blanks, so to speak. I realize this one has a few of them, but sometimes that's how it rolls out. And I like your word "elegiac." Should that appear in the future, I'll know who to thank. Thanks for your kind words, Mike, and Happy New Year!
"Tries to steer a ship he lost in a storm of years." "I can’t go back to that place, says Kyle. A breeze ruffles the water, a cormorant splashes." "They'll be here soon. The old man touches his grandson’s shoulder. The afternoon lowers its arms." Wow!
You had the choice to tell this story in ten pages or in one short moving conversation. You made the right choice, in my opinion. You gave us only what we needed to understand absolutely everything. Brilliant, Victor! I admire your work so much. ( Finding the essence and being brief: I have worked on that solidly for two years. Some day I hope to rise to your level. Here is one attempt with a similar theme. Maybe you will like it? https://sharronbassano.substack.com/p/not-today )
I go where the spirit leads and that's not usually 10 pages. 1-4 seems my sweet spot. Thanks for the kind words, Sharron, and I hope you're enjoying 2024. Happy New Year!
![Dynamic Creed [Oddified Fiction]](https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/w_36,h_36,c_fill,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep,g_auto/https%3A%2F%2Fbucketeer-e05bbc84-baa3-437e-9518-adb32be77984.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F0e1033d7-484e-4f07-8ca4-9f5e73fde2ba_500x500.png)
Wow. Damn. So many times in such a short story that i found myself agape or going "whoa," "Oh," or just gasping. Well done, god how i love reading you.
Thank you Trilety. It has quite a few of your "cracks in the floorboards" (I can't forget that phrase of yours), but sometimes that seems right. I'm glad you enjoyed it.
Ah thank you, and yes enjoyed it very much!
I love this - the uncertainty, and the potency of the history and the relationship, plus the refrain of the river that keeps on going. Beautiful writing!
Thank you Sarah for your kind words. This theme seems to be something I come back to from time to time, although I don't always hit the publish button. I'm glad you enjoyed it.
“The afternoon lowers its arms “ This is when we know that the world will be different for these two men when the sun next rises. I love it that the grandfather is there to help Kyle see it through--whatever it is. Brilliant Victor!
Yes, since I'm a grandfather, I can relate. I'm glad he's there, too. Many thanks Jim!
I echo Sharron's observation: we find all the meaning we need in the unarticulated spaces of this piece. A wonderful story, haunting and elegiac. Good to have you back, Victor.
I'm glad you're okay with filling in the blanks, so to speak. I realize this one has a few of them, but sometimes that's how it rolls out. And I like your word "elegiac." Should that appear in the future, I'll know who to thank. Thanks for your kind words, Mike, and Happy New Year!
"Tries to steer a ship he lost in a storm of years." "I can’t go back to that place, says Kyle. A breeze ruffles the water, a cormorant splashes." "They'll be here soon. The old man touches his grandson’s shoulder. The afternoon lowers its arms." Wow!
You had the choice to tell this story in ten pages or in one short moving conversation. You made the right choice, in my opinion. You gave us only what we needed to understand absolutely everything. Brilliant, Victor! I admire your work so much. ( Finding the essence and being brief: I have worked on that solidly for two years. Some day I hope to rise to your level. Here is one attempt with a similar theme. Maybe you will like it? https://sharronbassano.substack.com/p/not-today )
I go where the spirit leads and that's not usually 10 pages. 1-4 seems my sweet spot. Thanks for the kind words, Sharron, and I hope you're enjoying 2024. Happy New Year!
wonderfully meditative piece
Thank you. A short one to kick off 2024...